Last Thursday I graduated...finally!
As I sat and listened to the opening remarks of my college graduation, I had to fight back tears as the Dean talked about overcoming all the obstacles and hardships in order to get to this moment.
These last five years of graduate school have not been easy. I have been discouraged and encouraged to quit. And I have wanted to quit more times than I can count. I have wondered whether or not it's been worth it. I am now wondering what will be next. I have no idea.As I sat and listened to the opening remarks of my college graduation, I had to fight back tears as the Dean talked about overcoming all the obstacles and hardships in order to get to this moment.
Over the last five years, I've been amazed by my son's progress after he was diagnosed with autism. My husband retired after twenty years at FedEx and started a new job. I lost a baby. I have started this blog. I have sued the Department of Education. I became a writer. It has been a roller coaster ride of the lowest lows and the highest highs.
As I sat front row at my graduation ceremony and saw the camaraderie of the other - much younger - students as they marched on stage and others cheered as their names were called, I felt envious. I was surrounded by mostly undergraduate students, students in their early twenties, students with no children, no real responsibilities other than just being a student. Young men and women who had their whole lives ahead of them. Young college graduates who were free to pursue their careers - to find themselves.
Twenty years ago I graduated from high school clueless about who I was or what I wanted. With every failure, obstacle and hardship I learned a little more about myself. I discovered what I wanted to do.
There is no need to envy the younger graduates. They are moving on, in search of themselves, to discover their purpose - to find or forge their own path.
I have spent the last twenty years forging my path - walking, running, kicking, crawling and clawing my way through. I am moving on, with my degree in hand and there is no need to search. I am already on the path I'm supposed to be on. I just need to keep moving forward.
A new journey awaits.
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AutismWonderland - written by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez - is a personal blog chronicling a NYC family's journey with autism, while also sharing local resources for children/families with special needs.