Warrior Mom Monday is a new monthly series on AutismWonderland. Every last Monday of the month, I will highlight a Warrior Mom.
I assure you, "Warrior Mom" has absolutely nothing to do with Jenny McCarthy. The term and the meaning is much much bigger than her. It also has nothing to do with what you feed your kid, or if you give your child supplements or whether or not you believe autism can be cured.
Warrior Mom is about being an amazing mother. A strong mother who is fighting for her kid(s). It's about being a really wonderful mom who is willing do whatever it takes.
Often people will tell me what a great mom I am. And while I appreciate their words, I know so many great moms - doing the same thing I'm doing. The only difference is that I chronicle our experience on this blog. I often find myself inspired by the other moms - moms without blogs - and I wanted to share their story, their experience here.
Name: Christine P.
Where
did you grow up?/Where do you live? I grew up in Jackson Heights, and moved
to Staten Island when I was about 8. Have lived on "The Rock" ever
since.
# of
Children/Names/Ages/Diagnosis: Devin and Sara - twin 8-year old girls diagnosed
with PDD-NOS at 18mos. Now considered "other impaired"
(according to their IEP)
Relationship
Status: Married to Ron for 10 years last September. Never had a fight.
Occupation:
CEO (Chief Everything Officer) of my little homestead.
On Dealing
with Diagnosis
Prior to
your child's diagnosis, what did you think autism was? How has your
thinking changed?
Truth be
told, I never really thought about Autism. Because after all, it couldn't
possibly happen to me, right? If pressed for an answer, I suppose I would have
said that an autistic child was one that was "locked in their own
world". Of course now I know that it can (and did) happen to me. Autism is
a bitch. Autism is a nasty word. Autism is an opportunity to change people's
thinking.
What is
your biggest challenge/frustration about raising a child with special needs?
Our
families didn't really "get it" at first. I would hear things like
"oh, don't be silly. They're FINE." or "You're
overreacting." We would attend family functions and folks wouldn't
understand (or worse, would get offended) because I came to parties with my own
foods. They didn't understand why my kids didn't just sit down and eat pizza
like the rest of the kids: believe me, my life would've been so much easier if
they had! Family members would ask me about their therapies, and when I'd
answer questions, they'd say things like, "Gee, I'm looking at them now
and they don't ACT like there's anything wrong..." Well, that's because
you've been in a room with them for a couple of hours: come stay at my house
for a week, and see if your opinion changes.
Once we
had a diagnosis, and we started therapy, my husband and I decided that I would
not go back to work. I'm lucky that I was able to have that luxury. I'm a
control freak by nature and being home enabled me to observe therapy and do
carry-over work during the week.
Don't
get me started on the Department of Ed. All things considered, I've had a
pretty easy road so far. Our Turning 5 was pretty stressful. The psychologist
who evaluated my kids was a complete nightmare and I almost put her through a
wall. And the OPT? Every single school year I'm entering complaints about my
kids being on the bus over the allowed time. Every. Single. Year.
How do
you deal with your challenges/frustrations?
Wine.
Lots of wine. :)
I have a
really good support network. I've made the most of social connections, and have
several other moms who have older kids, and have been through everything I'm
going through. It helps to bounce things off someone who has been there/done
that.
What has
surprised you most about your child(ren)?
My
daughters have surprised just about everyone. When they arrived at their
District 75 preschool at 3 years old, they had no functional language: They had
sensory issues, they were stimming. If you met them today, you'd be
hard-pressed to see any autism "tells". There are things I see,
but that's because I'm their mom.
Who do
you get the most support from?
My
husband. He keeps me in check, and he's the first person to encourage me when
its time to get all "Warrior Mom" on someone. :)
What do
you dream for your child?
It's
pedestrian I know...but I just want my girls to be accepted. I want them to
have lots of friends, to be successful, to be independent. And I want
them to go to college.
One
thing you wish you knew when your child was initially diagnosed.
That
there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope. And as the mom,
you're the one who holds onto the hope for them.
What do
you want strangers/other children to know about your child/children?
My
daughters are sweet, imaginative, loving, funny, and sassy. Don't judge them
just because they won't eat chicken nuggets and french fries, or because they
still like Alvin and the Chipmunks (which is like, SO two years ago).
One
piece of advice you would give a parent hearing the diagnosis for the first
time.
DON'T
RUSH TO THE INTERNET. You will only freak yourself out. Take some time, take it
in, then make a plan. Document EVERYTHING. Remember that YOU are the parent,
and YOU know your child better than anyone, better than any doctor, therapist,
specialist, or teacher. Remember that you are their voice when they have no
voice.
Just for
Fun
You have
2 hours to yourself. What do you do? Only
TWO?? Maybe a massage...or more likely, get a BIG Dunkin iced coffee and
scrapbook uninterrupted. I'm easy.
If you
had to skip one, which would you skip: dinner or dessert? DINNER.
Three
items you can't leave home without.
My
iPhone, my wallet, and my lip gloss. Not necessarily in that order.
 |
Warrior Mom Christine with husband Ron. (below)
Their girls, Sarah & Devon. (on top) |
