How I Do It

I work full time.  I go to grad school part time. I write this blog.  I write a weekly post for Parents.com/To The Max. And occasionally someone else will ask that I write for them. And sometimes because of my writing, I have the opportunity to travel.

All this and I have a 6.5 year old kid with autism.

People often ask me, how I do it.

And when asked this question, I shrug my shoulders and dismiss all I do.  Because most days, I don’t give it much thought.

I do it on very little sleep...sometimes none at all. 

I do it with very little thanks but know that I am appreciated.

I do it because I am lucky to have a husband who is supportive.

I do with coffee every morning and - at times - one too many glasses of wine at night.

I do it without making the beds in the morning and leaving dishes overnight in the sink.

I do it without cooking, dusting or mopping as much as I should.  

I do it with constant guilt and fear of failure.

I do it because I need to work, I am eager to learn and I want to be known for something more as Norrin's mom, Joseph's wife and someone's secretary.

I do it on less than a six figure salary. (That’s right Mitt, I’m part of that 47%) 

I do it without mani's, pedi's and trips to the spa.

I do it with very little help from family and with less help from friends.

I do it uncertain whether anything I do will make a difference.

I do it on days when all I want to do is stay in bed and cry. And on days when I believe anything is possible.

I do it while being physically present but my mind is usually someplace else.

Most days I do it hanging by a thread. 

I do it by smiling with a cheerful, "I'm okay" even on days when it hurts. 

I do it with laughter because humor gets me by.      

I do it knowing I can't change the past but hoping to change the future.

I do it because on the day The Boy was born, I promised I would love him unconditionally.

I do it because I cannot control how others will treat him, but I can control how I will support him.

I do it living in a black and white world, The Boy is the only color I see.

(originally posted on October 12)